This is from God please Save me, a book written by Sister Mary Rose McGeady,
President of Covenant House. Full copyright belongs to her. You can order her book by writing to: Covenant House-JAF Box 2973-New York, NY 10116-2973
The book is free of charge but any donation you can send to her will help to support the Covenant House Shelters for street children. Some of the stories are heart-rending when you read what some of these children have suffered through. She gives the advice below to help keep children at home and families together.

Values - Teaching Them in Today's World.

Communicating your values has never been more important than it is today.
And the good news is, it all begins and ends With you.

When all is said and done, Parents have far more influence Over instilling values in their kids than any other factor.

Here -are some simple, and very important, things we should all remember about values, and passing them along:

Kids get their sense of what's right and wrong from people they love and respect. No one has more influence over teaching values than you do. Your input can make all the difference!

When it comes to teaching values ... action always speaks louder than words. Kids today have a "show me" mentality- They need to see the values lived out by You- Respect for life, respect for other people, honesty, integrity ... kids get those from watching YOU. The old saw has never been more true ...children do learn what they live!

Families are still the best vehicle for raising children. A loving, nurturing family unit of whatever form, creates the kind of environment kids need to learn what's right and wrong and how to love themselves too. Values are best inculcated in an environment of love and acceptance.

Always take time to sit and talk to your kids. Don't be afraid to say what you feel (but don't ever be too closed to listen to what your kids think).

Always strive to teach your kids to love and respect themselves as children of God. A healthy love and respect for themselves is incredibly important for any kid. It's also the first essential step in helping a child to also learn a love and respect for those around him, and God.

Nobody has said it better than Jesus. Those three words, "Love Thy Neighbor..... are an important message for every kid!

You've Got a Tough Job.

Most of us were never taught to be parents. So we can't help but disappoint ourselves sometimes. How often have you heard yourself using the very words you hated hearing from your own parents?

And when our kids become teenagers, it gets even harder. They seem to reject everything we've taught them. As far as they're concerned, we know nothing. Our values and beliefs are constantly challenged. Every word we utter is seen as interference. Emotions run high.

But we're more important to our teens than ever. As they try out the values of their peers, who are more influential than ever, we counter the pull of drugs and alcohol. These entangle children every day and can ruin their lives.

Getting Along With Your Teen.

Here are some ideas and techniques you can try to improve your relationship with your teen. If they don't work at first, keep trying. They take practice.

1. Make time for your teen. Find an activity you enjoy doing together and pursue it. If your invitations are declined, keep asking.

2. Listen, really listen. Because parents have so much to do and so little time, we often try to listen while cleaning, washing dishes or fixing the car. Put your chores aside so your teen knows you're really paying attention.

3. Take the long view. Don't treat minor mishaps as major catastrophes. Choose the important issues. Don't make your home a battleground.

4. Tolerate differences. View your teenager as an individual distinct from you. This doesn't mean you can't state your opinion if you disagree.

5. Respect your teenager's privacy. If a behavior is worrying you, speak up.

6. Let your teens sort things out themselves. Never say that you know how your teen feels. They believe their feelings (so new and personal) are unique. They'll learn otherwise - without your help. And never imply that their feelings don't matter or will change. Because teens live in the present, it doesn't matter that they'll soon feel differently.

7. Don't judge. State facts instead of opinions when you praise or criticize. Stating facts like "Your poem made me smile," or "This report card is all Cs and Ds!" leaves it up to your teen to draw the appropriate conclusions. Teens are sensitive about being judged - positively as well as negatively.

8. Be generous with praise. Praise your child's efforts, not just accomplishments. And don't comment on the person- "You're a great artist, is hard to live up to. "I loved that drawing" is a fact and comes from your heart.

9. Set reasonable limits. Teens need them and rules should be consistently applied rooted rules and rooted in your deepest beliefs and values. Teach your teen to make sensible decisions and choices by encouraging independence and letting your teenager make mistakes. Don't step in unless you have to.

How to Make Anger Work

All parents get furious at their children. We can't help it. But some parents feel bad about being angry and keep quiet. Though it's easy to say things in anger that you don't mean, anger can also spark talks that will help you and your teen get to know each other better.

Some Guidelines.

. When you get mad, don't blame Or accuse- Say how you feel - annoyed, irritated,
upset, etc.-and why. Be specific. Talk facts. Blaming only forces a teen to argue
his point, arouses tempers, and kills dialogue.

.Think solution, not victory. Don't try to win arguments.

.Stick to the present incident. Fighting old battles will only aggravate a situation.

.Be careful not to attach your teen's person or character. Say "I'm furious that you didn't clean up after the mess you made" - not, "You're a lazy slob!" Your son or daughter may give up trying to improve.

.If the situation is touchy, put your ideas in a letter. You can say exactly what you mean - and your teen will have time to think it over before answering.

Signs That Your Child Needs Outside Help.

• Suicidal talk of any kind. A suicidal teen may also give away valued possessions, make a will, talk about death or dying or say his family would be better off without him.
• Recent changes in sleeping or eating habits, thinking patterns, personality, friendships, study habits, activities. A sudden unexplained end to a long depression often precedes, a suicide attempt. Major weight loss can be a sign of bulimia or anorexia----dangerous problems.
• Drug or alcohol use. You might notice: irrational or irresponsible behavior, lying, secretiveness, severe mood swings, a sudden increase in accidents. A teen with a problem may have dilated pupils or wear sunglasses indoors, or complain about not sleeping or not feeling well. Valuables may disappear. You may find drug paraphernalia or alcohol containers around the house.
  
• A recent change in friends who you feel may be involved with drugs or alcohol may indicate that your child is involved or be a sign that your child is having other problems.
• Law-breaking behavior, even if the police and courts aren't involved. You might notice new possessions and money not accounted for.
• Poor self-image. Doubts are normal. But persistently low self-esteem is a problem.
• Serious depression. Listlessness, loneliness, withdrawal, difficulty making friends.

Rebelliousness to the point of total, continual defiance.

• Problems at school, including class-cutting, absenteeism, a sudden drop in grades.
• Fears or anxieties that interfere with everyday activities.
• Problems between family members that aren't solved by listening and discussing. In fact, family changes such as a death, divorce or remarriage are times when teens often need some outside help.
  
• Click to see:
• When to Get help for Yourself